I write today to confess that I have forgotten an important anniversary in my own life, a date that I swore to honor every year for as long as I had breath in my lungs.
For those readers who are not familiar with my journey, on May 29th, 2007 I had major back surgery to remove a benign tumor that had been growing for possibly a decade inside my spinal cord. The surgery to remove it was successful, but it left me paralyzed for an amount of time that my neurosurgeon said could possibly last the rest of my life.
Luckily, it didn't last the rest of my life -- ya'll have seen me using two legs -- but the window of time that included paralysis from my chest down was life-altering. The months spent in the hospital and the ensuing years of rehabilitative efforts were similarly life-changing. It was a transformative experience that not only reminded me to be grateful every day for the gift of mobility and independence, but one that reinvigorated the passion of living life to the fullest. I promised myself then that I would no longer limit myself based on fears, social norms, or any other form of perceived physical or societal limitation.
This is why I do what I do. We're all familiar with the stories of mid-life crises that involve a high-powered exec or other mid-life professional dropping the cash and career in favor of extended travel, or starting their own business, or enacting that personal goal that had lain dormant for decades. What I took away from my experience is that life is meant to be lived now.
I do not want to nor will I wait until I am 40-something with too many years of unfulfilling income-earning behind me, with a host of material possessions to prove an ambiguous degree of "success in life".
As homage to the neurosurgeon who saved my life -- he resolved the excruciating pain of my daily existence, a pain that I'm embarrassed to say would have led to me taking things into my own hands down the road -- and also reinvigorated my life, I bring him photos from my travels whenever we have a follow-up appointment. I tell him, "This is possible because of you." I'm not sure I can ever thank him enough.
I believe we are all capable of living our dreams, and choosing our dreams. What I strive to avoid is falling into the trap of living a life that I haven't chosen. Following a path that someone else decided was right for "someone my age", "someone like me", or "a successful twenty-something".
I consider myself lucky and blessed in too many ways to count. And one of the best experiences of my life was going through the agony, trauma, pain and challenge of back surgery, losing my ability to walk, and then fighting to get that back. Not just the ability to use my own two legs, but the ability to live my life as I imagine it.
This is why I am here. This is why I have embarked on many trips, why I do things differently than maybe what parental figures might suggest for their children, why I won't stop doing this until I absolutely cannot continue any longer.
In 2009, during the climb up the
Steps of Repentance on Mount Sinai
During a 2010 trip to Tikal in Guatemala...
Sweaty, humid pyramid climbing!
Cavorting around Cedar Point in 2012,
definitely a physical feat as mentioned in my previous post
My legs (and some planes) have carried me down south
as of 2012 to continue the explorations...
What inspires me most is the wide variety of goals and dreams in this life. It is a deeply personal decision, and nobody can tell you if you're right or wrong. For some, living life to the fullest might mean studying in an ashram in India, or raising three children in a safe neighborhood, or twisting culinary conventions in a hip restaurant in NYC, or writing books about science-fiction robots, or perfecting their color-coordinated living space, or starting an e-Bay business that sells doorknobs. It doesn't matter what it is...all that matters is that it comes from the pulsating, wrenching pits of your gut; that it forms the unseen lining of your blood vessels and internal organs and can only be felt, understood and enacted by you.
